Queer Gnosis

Polyphobia: A Queer Defense of Mormon Polygamy

By Troy Williams

Oh Joseph.  Who knew that when you had that first affair with young Fanny Alger you would be creating a mess we would still be sorting out today? Despite what the mainstream LDS Church might desire, Mormon polygamy just won’t go away.  And I can’t be too put out because I myself am a descendant of Mormon polygamists.  It’s a strange thought, but if Joseph Smith hadn’t been so horny, I wouldn’t exist today! So I guess that’s why I feel strangely defensive when I see polygamists maligned in the media.  It’s a strange, sticky paradox.  I’m a devout feminist.  I loathe patriarchy.  I think the god of the Old Testament is a misogynistic dick.  I find the practice of plural marriage archaic.  And yet, this very same Mormonism created me.  My great great grandfather had many wives.  Oh, and I’m also gay, which further complicates everything. 

Queers know what it’s like to be the outsider. There are millions of people around the world who find our lifestyle repugnant.  People are repulsed by the idea of two men having sex.  They don’t believe that two women can adequately raise children.  Christians believe children should be protected from queers.  In Utah, gay couples can’t even adopt.  Conservatives hate and despise us.  So who am I then to turn around and disparage another person whose lifestyle I don’t agree with?  Who cares if I don’t care for polygamy?  That’s my problem.  I get fed up when radical right-wingers try to cram their uptight worldview down my throat.  I certainly don’t want to impose my belief system on anyone.

Living in Utah, I’ve had the opportunity to meet several polygamists. In fact, several years ago I took one of Warren Jeff’s nephews to a rave and gave him two hits of ecstasy and a Vix inhaler.  I thought we could put the fun back in fundamentalism.  His life has never been the same.

Now I want to make it clear that I do not condone abuse.  I believe Warren Jeffs is a narcissistic control freak. And a false prophet. If parents and priesthood leaders are forcing under-age girls into sex then yes, the state needs to move in and protect them.  Absolutely.  However it is a gross error to assume that all polygamists are abusers.  It’s simply not true.  The Christian Right watch leather queens at San Francisco pride and assume all gay men like gag-balls and harnesses (not that there is anything wrong with that!).  But we all know that’s not entirely accurate.  It’s very dangerous to lump everybody into one category. 

Just like gays, there is great diversity in the polygamist community.  I have met very few polygamists who believe in blind obedience.  They often scoff at mainstream Latter-day Saints for their unquestioning devotion to their prophets.  And I have never met a Mormon fundamentalist who would allow their young daughters to be abused.  I have on the other hand met many who deeply love and care for the welfare of their children. 

The Texas police, on a spurious tip, swept in and kidnapped 400 children from their parents.  If that is the new standard, then I recommend police also storm every Catholic parish and rescue every innocent alter boy from the hands of their pedophile priests.  Abuse exists in every culture and in every faith.  It’s foolish to think that somehow it is worse within polygamous communities. 

The Texas debacle will drive the FLDS further underground.  This all happened before during the infamous Short Creek Raids in the 1950’s.  Children were separated from their parents for over two years.  Did this stop the practice of plural marriage?  Not at all.  It actually created greater distrust of the outside world and strengthened their religious convictions.  Mormons believe that persecution is a sign that Satan is trying to destroy them.  It reinforces their testimony that they are being true to their god’s work. 

Utah attorney general, Mark Shurtleff has wisely worked to establish “safety nets” for fundamentalist Mormon women and children who are victims of abuse.  They know they can go and get help with no fear of criminal prosecution.  They know they have friends in the outside world.  That is the key.  Openness.  A first step to solving the so-called polygamy problem is to decriminalize polygamy.  Bring everything and everyone out in the open.  We need to allow polygamists to be part of our communities.  We need to open up our arms in fellowship.  We need to love the stranger and the outsider as surely as we queers seek tolerance and acceptance from the world.  I believe the abuse in these isolated compounds will decrease as they come to recognize they can trust and more importantly live as neighbors among us.

The Mormon god commanded the Saints to be a “peculiar” people to the “the world”.  The FLDS are certainly living up to that.  So they dress strange. Who cares?  People think queers dress strange too.   The dictionary definition of “peculiar” actually reads: “strange, odd or unusual.” Flip forward in that same dictionary and you find that the definition of “queer” reads: “Strange, odd.”  So yes, we actually have a lot in common.  We’re oddballs. People hate us for being different.  I think we have a lot to teach Mormon polygamists.  We can show them how to come out and be more open and authentic about their lives.  We can teach them to develop polygamy pride.  And maybe in time we’ll be able to also help them with their hair and fashion choices.  I’m already envisioning fundamentalist couture on the runway. 

And one more important point -- if it wasn’t for Mormon polygamy, not only would I not exist, but I also wouldn’t be able to enjoy HBO’s Big Love.  Is it any coincidence that a show about Mormon polygamy is created and written by gay men?  Who else can better understand such a queer and peculiar world?   

Byron Katie: Living Peacefully in a Time of War

I had the pleasure of talking with Byron Katie again this past Tuesday.  This is my second interview with her.  We spent an hour talking about how to live peacefully when the world around us appears to be falling apart.  She talked about taking action from a space of sanity -- confronting challenges not with fear of what might be, but with clear perspectives based on "what is".  As liberals, we often look at the external nature of problems, but Katie invites us to turn inward and to challenge the thoughts that cause so much of our suffering.  From an integral perspective we need to approach global problems from both an exterior and interior space. 

What I love the most about Katie's work is that she encourages us to challenge our stories.  "Who would you be without your story?" she asks.  Isn't that the question of all questions?  So often we live our lives based on narratives that may or may not be true.  Our thoughts are often the biggest obstacle we have to living a dynamic life.  I know that to be true for me. 

Too often we fall into victim mode and lament the hits we take in life.  Katie asks, "is life happening to you, or for you?" When I stop and think about that, I realize that the hard hits I've taken have actually been some of my most valuable life experiences.  Sometimes we just need to shift our perspective.  Sometimes we just need to drop our stories. 

I have a belief (and I'm not sure if it's true, but I hope it is) that peaceful people elect peaceful leaders.  And perhaps if less people were at war with themselves and their families and neighbors, then maybe our planet might be a more peaceful place.  That may sound naive and unrealistic, but then I think of our friend Satish Kumar, and I remember all the chaos, war and misery that realistic people have brought to the world.  I believe that The Work of Byron Katie can help people live more peaceful lives. 

Listen to entire interview here.

Satish Kumar: Soil, Soul and Society

by Troy Williams

One of the goals of RadioActive is to bring visionary artists, activists and global change agents to the Utah airwaves.  I am always looking for people with big ideas to turn our troubled planet around.  On Wednesday, my new host, Azadeh, hosted a phenomenal interview with a magical human being, Satish Kumar.  He is a Jain Monk, a passionate peace-activist and an eco-philosopher.  He is the editor of Resurgence Magazine.  He once went on an 8,000 mile hike, from India to America, to protest nuclear proliferation.  Sometimes criticized for his idealism, he said in the Guardian:

"Look at what realists have done for us. They have led us to war and climate change, poverty on an unimaginable scale, and wholesale ecological destruction. Half of humanity goes to bed hungry because of all the realistic leaders in the world. I tell people who call me 'unrealistic' to show me what their realism has done. Realism is an outdated, overplayed and wholly exaggerated concept."

If you are up for an inspiring hour that will have you bursting with hope and possibility, have a listen.  And please share with your friends! He talks about the new trinity: soil, soul and society. 

Podcast the entire interview here. 

And then go out, change yourself and change the world!

Beam in the Eye

Salt Lake Tribune Public Forum Letter

Article Last Updated: 04/29/2008 06:41:49 PM MDT
http://www.sltrib.com/Opinion/ci_9098094

Paul Fisher tells Troy Williams and other "queers" to "grow up" ("Grow up," Forum, April 27), which likely means "act and communicate like us, and don't remind us of your 'sin.'" Fisher says straights can be shocked and disturbed by the use of the word "queer." Heaven forbid!
    Straights should save their shocked and disturbed emotions for their own community's actions. When straights isolate and demean gays and support, or ignore, efforts to legislate against civil rights for gays, they are the ones who demonstrate "an immature teenage mentality."
    If gays like Troy wish to draw attention to their moral cause by using language and actions that may "shock and disturb" some straights, that seems like a little thing set against the blatant bigotry of the majority of Fisher's society.
    I detect a degree of tolerance for gays in Fisher's words, perhaps even some support for their civil cause; if so, I applaud. Hopefully, Fisher is just as active in removing beams from the eyes of his straight peers as he is in removing offending motes from those of queers.
   
    Gail L. Porritt
    Draper

my response: Thanks Gail!  It's always extremely cool when straight friends and allies step up and defend the queers. I also had the privilege of hearing how my sister defended me from another intolerant family member.  That was equally outstanding.  Homophobia is really a straight issue-- just like racism is a white issue and sexism is (usually) a male issue.  If we occupy a privileged dominator class, then it should be our responsibility to teach our peers about our own issues and blind spots.  As a white male, I hope I am always conscious and aware of my own contributions to racism and sexism -- and hopefully I can be a good example to other white men.  I thank my straight friends and family members who are consciously evolved and socially accepting.  I'm feeling lots of love these days!

Troy

Grow Up

http://www.sltrib.com/opinion/ci_9065709

Public Forum Letter

Article Last Updated: 04/26/2008 10:47:36 AM MDT

I could see Troy Williams' comparisons between gays seeking acceptance from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and a battered wife returning to her abusive husband ("Abuse and restitution," Forum, April 17), but his reference to the "queer" community disturbed me.
    Since "queer" has traditionally been a derogatory term, why have Williams and other gays and lesbians adopted it? Straights like me find it offensive. It reminds me of African Americans who use the n-word. Adopting a derogatory term is not healthy, nor does it help one's cause.
    The current civil rights issue is gay and lesbian equal rights - to enjoy loving, committed relationships and to live without fear. When gays and lesbians use "queer" to shock and disturb straight listeners, that reflects an immature teenage mentality that gays need to grow beyond in order to find an equal place in society. I am not interested in parades with floats of muscle-bound gay men in Speedos any more than I support floats with heterosexual women in bikinis.
    The gay community needs to act with maturity and dignity as it fights for equal rights. That will lead to more respect and support than will attempts to shock.
   
    Paul Fisher
    Pleasant Grove

My response: I'm grateful Mr. Fisher was compelled enough by my words to write the Tribune.  I welcome the conversation.  Funny enough, this letter was published right after I finished writing about the teenage gay mentality in my most recent article: Homo Evolutionary (see below).  Yes -- the queer community is very young and we are given to wild ideas and flamboyant expressions.  Performing sexual identities, playing with gender and being all kinds of outrageous is what young people do! 

It's interesting that Mr. Fisher is shocked by the word "queer" and the n-word, having never been on the receiving end of either.  And further interesting that he thinks I use the word to shock.  I don't.  I just like the inclusive nature of it all.  This is a generational issue.  Mr. Fisher wants to encourage gays to behave in socially respectable manners (read: straight acting).  No thanks.  You don't get to decide how we behave and how we choose to self-identify. 

But Mr. Fisher is generous enough to consider the battered wife analogy -- which is truly the important element in my original letter. 

Mr. Fisher, if you ever wander onto queergnosis, thank you for the letter!

Troy

Homo Evolutionary

by Troy Williams

My friend Josh Moon is a mutant.  And it’s more than just his fetish for X-Men comics.  Josh was born with an evolved consciousness that transcends his upbringing.  At 14 this seemingly average kid from an orthodox Mormon home, declared to his parents that he was gay. He also intuitively knew that the conventional religion of his parents was detrimental to his personal evolution.  So he bailed.  Which is in stark contrast to me, 13 years his senior, who spent years denying my sexuality while wrestling with the contradictory cosmology of Mormonism.  What about Josh Moon was special?  How did he awaken to such a profound level of self-acceptance at such a young age? And what about all the other gay teens who are now coming out with fully actualized sexual identities? Is there a latent queer consciousness that is awakening young people en masse?  And could this be the forerunner of an even greater social transformation?

I’ve written before about The New Gender Nation, a term I borrow from rockstar Amy Ray.  In her teen anthem, “Put it Out for Good”, she captures the spirit of a disenfranchised, outsider class of youth: “all the punks and the queers and the freaks and the smokers” who struggle against an establishment culture that seeks to control their identity. “Alright, I hear what you’re saying to me – alright, I hear what I just can’t do.” Authenticity is the passion of this generation.  The song intuits the Gnostic idea of the pleroma – the spark of kosmic knowledge: “But I’ve got this spark I’ve got to feed it something, or put it out for good!”  Amy Ray understands the angry nihilism that comes from denying the fire.  Suicide and extinction await those who deny the spark of authenticity.

Other artists are also tapping into this youth current.   Grant Morrison is a chaos-magician and comic book savant who is a cyborg mash-up of Timothy Leary, William Burroughs and James Bond.  He wrote The Invisibles -- a Gnostic mega-fable featuring daemonic Archons who work to enslave humanity in simulated illusion (yes, The Matrix ripped off some of The Invisibles best ideas).  Among his trope of anarchist heroes was Lord Fanny, a Brazillian tranny shaman who could cast spells by masturbating (a post-modern spin on “here I come to save the day!”). As an author, Morrison’s writes through both time and space. In 2003 he explained, “the last issue of The Invisibles is actually written as a comic from [the year] 2012.  It's written for kids who are now about nine or so, the ones that are going to be taking us into 2012.  I wrote that issue for them because they'll completely understand it, but their bigger brothers might not. It's really about what we can actually do to change things.”

Morrison went mainstream to write New X-Men for Marvel comics.  In his inspired interpretation of the classic series, homo sapien sapiens is on the verge of species extinction. Homo superior is set to replace their sapien predecessors – just as Cro-Magnon displaced Neanderthal.  Morrison’s mutants pushed the edge. He explained, “The X-Men are every rebel teenager wanting to change the world and make better.  Humanity is every adult, clinging to the past, trying to destroy the future even as he places all his hopes there.” Many queer thinkers see the X-Men as a metaphor for gay youth – but Morrison evolves this idea into a commentary on establishment culture versus upstart youth imagination.  A rising generation with new vision, new fashion and new identities.  It’s “in versus out.” Authoritarian fundamentalists may hold the reigns of power now – but a surge of young Obamamaniacs, gender terrorists and eco-teens are swelling. Defiant, self-actualized and optimistic.

In Morrion’s graphic novel, Kid Eternity, another youthful protagonist encounters an ensemble of disembodied daemons.  They have fallen from their primal non-dual “state of pure being” (the pleroma) and find themselves trapped in “hell.”  These entities, working to reclaim a state of bliss, set out to refashion the fallen world by hastening the evolution of humanity.  To that end they erect “Chaosperes” – the engine of paradise -- to generate pandemonium on the earth to bring about an evolutionary surge.   Kid Eternity calls to mind Barbara Marx Hubbard’s idea that crises precede transformation.

The headlines today read like an apocalyptic comic; global food riots, extreme climate change, war and the US economy teetering on the verge of collapse.   Hubbard shares a unique perspective on our global crisis.  “Problems are evolutionary drivers” she writes,   “Intensifying pressure leads either to devolution and extinction or evolution and transformation.  Is it possible that that from our species, a new human and a new humanity are now emerging?”  Morrison and Hubbard are both inspired by the emergence of a Universal Human.  Are these words from the future?

My friend Josh Moon is just such a new mutant.  And others like Josh are waking.

Though homosexuality has always existed, queer identity did not emerge until the early 20th Century.   In just under a century we are rapidly owning our lives and fulfilling our potential.  In so doing we model the human journey toward authenticity. Ultimately, as we evolve, the queer mind will no doubt transcend the binaries of gay and straight -- returning us to where we first emerged – a non-dual awareness; “Big Mind”, “The White Hot Room”, “The Pleroma”, which Carl Jung described as: "a state of fullness where the pairs of opposites, yea and nay, day and night, are together..." or as Jean Baudrillard once slyly suggested, “we are all transsexuals now.” Lord Fanny in the flesh.  The New Gender Nation triumphant.   

Some scientists believe queers are evolutionary dead-ends.  Nature would never select queer traits because it doesn’t favor species survival. And yet here we are.  Defying both Darwin and the Christian god. Pushing the current, challenging the status quo, and freaking out the neighbors.  Some outsiders may look at gay men and see only a vapid sub-culture of underwear parties and gym memberships.  But we are young.  Adolescent Revolutionaries in Diesel.  The cyber-dykes and DIY trannies will yet kick us guys into gear. We are all the engine of paradise. Rub up against it till it gets inside you.  Who knows what kind of new world we might co-create with our hetero siblings.  In the words of Emma Frost, “don’t you want to inherit the earth?” 

Papal Smear

Dottie really got caught up all in it this week.  Apparently she has been misquoating Mormon doctrines regarding the Catholics being the Great and Abominable Church of the Devil.  An angry listener wrote in to rebuke her and you can hear all about it on her latest show.  I'm proud of Dottie for being willing to own up to her mistakes.  Now if only our religious leaders could learn from her example.  Enjoy!  And please share with all of your Mormon and Catholic friends.   It's time we all just put aside our differences and come together and love one another (as long as we are all past the proper age of consent!).   Enjoy!

Troy

Abuse and Restitution

my latest letter to the editor in the Salt Lake Tribune.  Oh, how I love to stir the pot!

http://www.sltrib.com/opinion/ci_8949873

Public Forum Letter
April 17, 2008

As a gay Mormon, I find it curious that Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons is so eager to seek reconciliation with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ("LDS officials to meet with gay Mormon group," Tribune, April 8). Why do the abused continually seek acceptance from their abusers? It reminds me of the battered wife constantly going back to her abusive husband.
    The LDS Church will politely listen, remind them of Heavenly Father's love and Affirmation will leave just feeling happy to be heard. That is, until the church again mobilizes its members in support of more anti-gay legislation. Wham! Another black eye.
    I would never encourage a battered wife or a sexually abused child to seek reconciliation with their abusers. This is how abusive bonds are kept intact. The LDS Church must repent and in humility seek forgiveness from us. Until they take responsibility for their abusive actions, we should seek nothing from them.
    If LDS Church President Thomas S. Monson were to sincerely approach the queer community and genuinely ask to make restitution, then we can talk. On our terms, not his.
   
    Troy Williams
    Salt Lake City

Yearnin' For Zion

by Troy Williams

We have all been shocked by the Texas polygamy raids.  And of course, Sister Dottie S. Dixon, who is a proud descendant of Mormon polygamists, has a thing or three to say about it!  You can podcast her latest episode by clicking here.  This is the extended director's cut (the on-air broadcast was edited for time).  And please leave a comment for Sister D.  She gets very concerned when people just visit her site and don't stop and say hello. Manners!   

Standing Up To The Madness: The Amy Goodman Interview

by Troy Williams

stream the entire interview here.

Amy Goodman is the host of Democracy Now! a national, daily, independent, award-winning news program.  Amy is a populist journalist, reporting from the perspective of people silenced by the mainstream media. She has been an outspoken critic of the Bush Administration and a staunch defender of human rights around the globe.  She and her brother David Goodman have co-authored the newly released book, Standing Up to the Madness: Ordinary Heroes in Extraordinary Times.  The book chronicles everyday people – scientists, librarians, high school students and community organizers, who have courageously taken stands against the Bush Administration, the Patriot Act, war, racism and more.  It’s an inspiring book that reminds every reader of what is right about the world -- ordinary people who stand up for social justice even when it’s unpopular to do so.  I spoke with Amy and David prior to their visit to Salt Lake City. 

Troy Williams: people often ask me, “How did Amy Goodman, become Amy Goodman?”  So let’s go back in time a bit and talk about those forces that shaped both of you.  Talk about the influences that that shaped your passion for social justice and peace-activism. 

David Goodman: The path leads directly to our great parents. Activism was not something separate from family life. It was a very normal thing to debate issues around the table, on holidays at throughout the week.  Our parents were both very active in the community and on national issues.  Our dad was a co-founder for Physicians for Social Responsibility where we grew up in New York.  Our mom was also always active in peace work.  I never had a sense that becoming active, speaking up or thinking about these issues critically was anything that everybody wasn’t doing or shouldn’t be doing.  In many ways what we do today is just a continuation of those debates and disagreements. In the extended family there was a socialist uncle and a very conservative uncle – and we would see those two go at it.  That was part of family life.  And that debate and critical thinking was the real gifts that we took away from that household.   

Amy Goodman: And there was a forum for the debate between the uncles, grandparents and grandchildren.  And that was provided by the guy you are speaking to right now – David.  He ran Dave’s Press.  I think he was like 8 or 9 years old.  It was in our house.  You saw all the signs leading upstairs to his room.  There was an old Xerox machine that he would labor over – the kind that you had to press down.  He would engrave the image on another peace of paper.  It was basically the extended family log.  He also wrote editorials on the war – in that case it was Vietnam.  The letters to the editor page was the page where everyone duked it out.

TW: Talk about interacting with your more conservative relatives.  How were you able to bridge those ideological differences?   

DG: You are assuming they were bridged! They were the fuel for many family gatherings.

AG: Also it’s what made it interesting.  I think it was our common respect.  We learned that sitting around the dinner table we could duke it out peacefully in a civilized way and also love each other.  That is the important thing.  I really see the media as a huge kitchen table that we all sit around, whatever our views, and debate and discuss the most important issues of the day – like war and peace, life and death.  Standing Up to the Madness is really that writ large.  It is finding those people all over the country, of which there are so many more, who simply stood up in an adverse situation, and not even realizing what they were about to do, sometimes just falling into it. Like James Hansen, the NASA scientist who found himself being silenced by the Bush Administration. The top heads of the White House Council on Environmental Quality are coming right out of the oil industry, deciding what reports get out there. Scientists are now challenging the Administration’s clamp down on words like “global warming”.  Now you have scientists all over the country who are saying no -- when you have the future of the earth at stake – we’re not going to take this anymore.  It’s amazing and inspiring to see what these people did.

TW: Talk about The White Rose and their significance today.

DG: The White Rose was a resistance movement in Nazi Germany that consisted of students and a professor who was their faculty advisor.  They Nazis were controlling the media and controlling all forms of dissent and public communication.  The White Rose began mimeographing a series of leaflets that were smuggled around the country and distributed in major cities.  They would simply type up what they saw actually going on – and what they thought Hitler and the Nazis were actually up to.  And this was at the time when stories of concentration camps were just rumored because the media was controlled completely.  One of their most famous leaflets ended with the words: “We will not be silent.  We are your guilty conscience.”  The leaders of the White Rose were caught.  Sister Hans and Sophie Scholl.  They were tried in a kangaroo court called The People’s Court and executed and beheaded the same day the sentence was handed down.  They have gone in history to become some of the most admired and revered Germans.  Many streets and plazas are named after them.   We think this is a great way to start our book, and to reach back in history to draw on some of the lessons of the great acts of civil disobedience of modern times.  The message and the need for it live on. 

Revolution's Infidelity: My Indigo Girls Interview

by Troy Williams

I interviewed the Indigo Girls over a year ago, but never posted the transcript.  You can listen to the entire interview here.  I've had the opportunity of meeting and talking with both Amy Ray and Emily Saliers several times over the years. I'm a bigger fan than a lot of lesbians I know!  And honestly, of all the artists I've interacted with, these two have had the biggest impact on my own political activism.  When I was younger, wrestling with my Mormon upbringing and my nascent sexual desires, I can remember vividly listening to the song, "Prince of Darkness", and knowing deep in my soul that being gay was okay.  I remember thinking that anyone who could create such beauty had to be cool with god.  I love these two women and am so grateful for the light and beauty they bring to the world. 

Troy Williams: I want to talk about creative imagination. Specifically, the creative imagination that envisions new ways of living on our planet together. How do you channel your vision and imagination into your music?

Emily Saliers: In some of the songs, the content is blatantly subject specific. If I'm writing a song like "All That We Let In", obviously, my vision of the world doesn't include what's happening with this current Administration, so it ends up being in a song like that. There are things that are less blatant lyrically, that are harder to articulate, but are more of a spirit of how you live in the world, without being specifically political.

Amy Ray: I like to write songs from people's stories and what they are going through, because it can capture what's happening during a time. On our new record I have a couple of songs about the demoralization people are going through with our drive to turn everything into suburbia and what that does to people. I like to take a story of someone I know and write a song. Maybe somebody can hear a song with a story in it and they can start thinking about things and start curing and healing and breaking down barriers.

TW: Do you remember when you realized that the world could be different?

ES: In my family, particularly with my dad, who is a minister as you know, he comes from a place of eternal optimism based on his faith. The environment in my household was that being members of the world community, you could affect change, and things aren’t all bad, and they can get better. That was a basic tenant that we were brought up to believe. I’ve still held on to that, sometimes tooth and nail when things get dark.

AR: I think mine came from my family too, though my parents are very conservative. But they had this real strong belief in the work ethic and being independent.  If you wanted something to happen, you had to do it yourself.  At some point I polarized from them due to my political views. And the real spark, secondarily, was Honor the Earth, and meeting Winona Laduke, building this bridge and learning from the Indian activists. That has really cemented and helped me learn to articulate activism. And at times when I feel tired or weak, I turn back to that. They are real fighters and they win a lot of battles.

ES: With very little resources.

TW: Amy, has your family moved at all with your activism, in terms of their political --

AR: My siblings are very liberal. But I don’t think my parents will ever be left wing like me, but they are very pro-gay rights now. Extremely. And it’s really the polar opposite from where they were. We’ve gone from being perverts to being god’s children!

TW: That’s huge!

AR: Well, it had to happen; you can’t keep a family together. So they could choose to keep the family together or stick with their fundamentalism. 

TW: Let’s jump into queer identity. Do you remember when you first loved your own gayness?

AR: It's an evolution, isn't it? For me it was a couple of steps. First it was falling in love with another woman in high school, and feeling just ecstatic about how much I could feel for somebody.  Because I hadn’t experienced that with my boyfriends. You know, I loved my boyfriends, but it didn’t have the same spark sexually. The next big step for me was having a community of people that had a little bit of gender disphoria like I have -- the trans movement -- and realizing I had a way to articulate the male side of me that is so strong. I never had a language for it, and I felt so at odds with my body most of the time.  But it’s funny, because after I embraced that, I started loving the woman side of my body too. I realized that I'm not trans, I'm very much split -- maybe more on the male side. I definitely think the trans community gave me a second wind in the gay movement.

ES: The first step for me was when I realized I was gay, I finally got to put a word to it (after all of those close friendships in high school. and not knowing what it was!), but the first thing I believed in my heart was that there was nothing wrong with it.  Right away, I had no issues.  From the very beginning, I can honestly say, I never had a doubt in my mind that there was nothing wrong with being gay. And that felt really good from the outset.

TW: What does a "queer spirituality" for you look like?

ES: The first thing that comes to mind is that's it's radical. In the context of Christianity, a queer spirituality is radical in the way that Jesus was radical. When I think of a queer spirituality I think of one that is completely loving and encompassing all. I always believed that's what Jesus was all about. That's as close to the true Christianity as you can get -- a radical queer spirituality.

AR: Yeah, it's so tied together, queer spirituality and sexuality and the Earth and how everything is growing and being fertile and creating -- it's all one big mish mosh of stuff to me. I find the institution of religion to be a work in progress I think...although I did hear that there was an online Christian sex-toy catalogue now!  Only straight married couples can order these different sex-toys online, and they come complete with Bible versus. I know, it’s wild, but  I read about it in Mother Jones, you should look it up!

TW: I’m on it! In my radical vision, I believe that queers are here to save the world from patriarchy. And that's why the Christian fundamentalists and the GOP all hate us. If we undermine patriarchy we undermine fundamentalism, rogue capitalism, etc.  What do you see as the role of queer people on the planet?

ES: I agree with what you said!

AR: A lot of indigenous communities consider that to be the role of the two-spirited person. To be a conduit for a different way. For me, if something is so ancient of a belief system, there has to be something to it! There is a point and a purpose to having this kind of life. I agree too. Shake things up a bit. We need to look at gender differently or we can't get out of the patriarchy! If a gay man still sees gender as a black and white issue, then it doesn't change the patriarchy, it just means more gay white men can be in power. What we need to do is get rid of sexism, and get rid of misogyny. We need to accept the female side and accept the male side of us too, and go from there. That's what I think the transgendered community is helping us do.

TW: Where do you find optimism and hope in our current global situation?

AR: Really, from a Native perspective, seeing through their eyes, things have been fucked up for a long time. It aint Bush. It's Clinton and Bush and every president that's come before in the last fucking 200 years! It's genocide from the beginning. God, I’ve been feeling this way ever since I met Winnona! If I wasn’t going to loose hope after that initial onslaught of information, after that, if I didn’t just shrivel up and become paralyzed, I knew I  never was going to!

ES: Working with different Native groups, we've seen these small grassroots groups win huge battles against corporations and diabolical forces. And when you see those victories then you believe they can happen.

AR: Yeah. And young high schoolers, not just queer, but straight, doing activism, it's amazing what's going on. Really amazing. You talk to a 16 year old about what's going on and they're perspective is different. They're fired up.

TW: Yeah, there's now a gay-straight alliance in Provo, Utah, the most conservative place in the Universe!

ES: Right! That's so cool. That's what gives you hope.

AR: Always.

TW: Tell me about the song "Cordova".

AR:  Cordova is a place in Alaska It's about my falling in love with the Native American movement and revolution -- all wrapped up in the symbol of Winona, and her as a revolutionary figure. And it's about me as a white person, feeling like I was an imposter. So it's about that, and then seeing over the years a multitude of activists die, and loosing that life. It's a lot of different levels that one! 

TW: I love you guys.

ES: We love you too Troy! We're glad your station is here! In Utah!

AR: Yeah! I'm always saying, I want to spend my day off in Salt Lake cause there's a cool radio station there that gives me hope!  There are a lot of great things in this town! It's a great city.

Salt Lake City rally draws crowd with

varied agenda

http://www.sltrib.com/ci_8824183
By Donald W. Meyers
The Salt Lake Tribune

Some came to demand clean air. Others wanted U.S. troops brought home from Iraq. And some pressed the case for affordable health care.
    Yet they were all braved the chilly weather Saturday for the Rally for a Better Planet held on the Salt Lake City-County Building grounds - a three-pronged protest with the ultimate goal of social justice, organizers said.
    "Today, the labor representative shakes hands with the feminist, the gay activist stands with the environmentalist and the Muslim makes friends with the Mormon," said Troy Williams, KRCL radio host and one of two emcees for the event.
    Former Salt Lake City Mayor Rocky Anderson also spoke to the crowd. He railed against the war in Iraq, national and Utah news media that he said was complicit in covering up the Bush administration's wrongdoing and apathetic voters who foster what he sees as a defective political system.
    "We cannot have change if we continue to elect different people from the same two political parties," said Anderson, who served two terms as a Democrat. And, he said, the only way to achieve change is to stop blaming others and act for change.
    One symbolic act for change was the presence of 350 bike riders, led by an electric car, riding from Pioneer Square to 400 East and back several times. It highlighted the need to reduce carbon dioxide

---

emissions. The number of riders represented the level of carbon dioxide that is considered sustainable in today's industrial world: 350 parts per million. The current national average, event organizers say, is 382 ppm.  
  One of the riders, Kristina Heintz, said global warming and need to encourage renewable energy were serious enough concerns for her to mount up and ride.
    Brian Moench of Utah Physicians for a Healthy Environment, who spoke at the rally, said part of the opposition to global-warming reduction is a disdain for scientific knowledge by those in government and industry.
    He said even though there is significant evidence that air pollution and global warming are threats to the environment, there are people who say no action is necessary because there isn't 100 percent scientific certainty on the issue.
    "Our economy may be threatened by the subprime-mortgage crisis, but our environment is threatened by a sub-primate intelligence crisis," Moench said.
    John Fleming, a Park City resident, was on hand to protest the war in Iraq, but he said the war and environmental issues are related.
    U.S. dependence on oil rather than renewable bio-fuels is a factor in the Iraq War, he said, and the money being spent on the war could be used to clean up the environment and make universal health care possible.
      dmeyers@sltrib.com

[my written comments:]

It is always powerful when we come together and raise our voices in solidarity.  Today we celebrate our lives.  We celebrate the beautiful planet we live on.  We celebrate our friendships.  We celebrate our shared desire and hope that all of us, working together can create a more just, more sustainable and more peaceful world.

We have to raise our voices loud. We have to inspire others with our actions.  We are here today because we believe that we can co-create a better society.  We can create a healthy environment, we can provide health care for all people, and we can become a nation of peace and justice. 

Today we will march, we will speak and we will listen.  We will sing and we will cheer and we will remind all of Utah that Now Is the Time to Act. 

Now is the time for carbon reduction!
Now is the time for single-payer health-care!
Now is the time to end nuclear proliferation!
And now is the time for an immediate end of the US occupation of Iraq! 

Are you ready?

I love what we have created together today. Standing next to you are many people from many different backgrounds with many different passions.  But we all share a common cause.  We all share the desire to live together peacefully on a healthy planet. Today the labor organizer shakes hands with the feminist.  The gay activist stands in solidarity with the environmentalist.  The Muslim becomes friends with the Mormon.  And the pacifist embraces the returning solider. Regardless of our ethnicity, regardless of our religious beliefs or political affiliations, regardless of our economic and class differences, we stand first as human beings – determined to create a new way of living together.